well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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