I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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