i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
