I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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