You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
