What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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