i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
