Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
