Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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