Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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