I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
