what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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