thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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