Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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