Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
