At least make sure they are 18
Why
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You can't special order awesome
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
