her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
