I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
