Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize