what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
