Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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