I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Randomize
