I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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