It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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