another moral hangover. fuck.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
