During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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