You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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