I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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