I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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