toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish you could order shots online.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
