youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
