I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
