we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
