Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
