Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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