im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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