You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Randomize