420 ftw
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
