Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize