By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I would fuck him just for his dog
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