I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize