I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize