i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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