my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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