Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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