About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize