Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
