I think I am morally bankrupt
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
