I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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