chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
