i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
