my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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