just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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