Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
