her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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