i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
