We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
