I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize