I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize