I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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