That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Randomize