stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
