I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
