Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
PANTIES FOUND
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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