Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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