I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
