He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
