She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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