sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well I just put wine in my tea
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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