I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize