I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
